


Taste It Right Off My Lips/ Spill Your Emotions Into My Hands/ Can I Have You In Doses?

by Sweetysweetssugarytreats



Series: Hugs & Kisses & Sappy Feelses [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon Compliant?, Cooking?, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, GinHiji/HijiGin, Hugs, I'm going to write so much fluff for this fandom it's not even funny anymore, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Love, M/M, Romance, Sappy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touching, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 16:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetysweetssugarytreats/pseuds/Sweetysweetssugarytreats
Summary: "Why are you looking at me like that?""Because I really want to kiss you right now."





	Taste It Right Off My Lips/ Spill Your Emotions Into My Hands/ Can I Have You In Doses?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PriorityNaps](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PriorityNaps/gifts).



> Or: This is the one where two samurai get lost in each other's affection after a mid-afternoon snack.
> 
> This is a little gift for the lovely Low__Battery, thank you for always being yourself around me and always making me feel so happy even when I'm having a bad day. Special thanks for dealing with my moods and the overexcited messages I always send you!
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to actually finish this (like actual months… oops… forgive me…) I just wanted to write it *right*. This is still a mess, obviously, but I hope it makes you smile : )
> 
> P.s. It's /sweetysweet/ so make sure you have some bitter coffee with you before reading this!

 

Gintoki prides himself on two qualities.

Well, more than two qualities, but in this instance these are the main ones he will focus on.

Which are:

 

         1) Being a good boyfriend.

Of course he is a good boyfriend. More than good, in fact. Great even. The master of all boyfriends, the genius boyfriend, the extraordinary boyfriend. The boyfriend of all trades, if you will.

 

         2) Making delicious meals.

His abilities in the kitchen are unprecedented. (No, Zura is not a better cook than he is, okay?!) And even if his aptitude ranges more toward sweets, since he knows that those are not Hijikata's favorite - as much as he is trying to convert him to the heaven of sweetland, that is still a work in progress – he decided to make something that would appease to his tastes more.

 

And that includes using that yellowish glob of dog food that his other half calls 'Food Of The Gods'. Also known as - drum rolls -… mayonnaise. Yeah, that. Gintoki has still some difficulties getting acquainted with such a…  _thing_.

But when you really love someone you also have to love all their weird fetishes that make you want to throw up or else it's not real love. Oh, hey, that could be a title for one of Gintama's episodes.

Anyway, right now he is putting all of this effort into showing Hijikata how much these two qualities shine in him because…. he might have… maybe… missed him?

Oh, who is he kidding. Of course he missed him. He is past the self-justified denial at this point.

For a week straight all his days have been filled with too many or too little hours of sleep, endless afternoons spent on the couch scanning through the same pages of his old copies of Jump, childish whining because Shinpachi has tried to get him out of the apartment to work, and more childish whining because Shinpachi has tried to drag him out of the Pachinko parlor and back to the apartment, and also a spoonful more of childish whining because Kagura has tried to eat his secret reserves of sweet and sugary treats (A/N: Lol did you get that?). And all of this just because he couldn't get out of his head that V-shaped-bangs-mayo-loving-freak-blue-eyed-demon of a beauty that is Hijikata.

Gintoki would find it annoying, if it weren't for the fact that the officer has messed up his ability to feel emotions the normal way. For example, he doesn't feel as irritated anymore when Hijikata locks himself up in his room to finish paperwork - it may also be because Gintoki is usually lazing around in Hijikata's room and catching up on the most adventurous chapters on Jump, and when night falls he convinces him to cuddle after a long and heavy day of work load.

Other example, when Hijikata is talking about the wonders of mayonnaise with all his passion and devotion at the barracks, because for some strange reason he thinks that knowing everything about the condiment is one of the required abilities to join the Shinsengumi - Kondo laughs about it, Sougo is not impressed, Yamazaki has an opinion too but Hijikata doesn't listen to him - he is the most gorgeous creature Gintoki has ever seen and can't take his eyes off him, even when Sougo fires off his bazooka at them. And when Hijikata gets so fired up for some strange reason Gintoki wants to do nothing more than push him against the nearest wall and make out with him… but he doesn't ponder over that too deeply.

Gintoki snorts at his own thoughts and sets them aside in the back of his head to apply the finishing touches to his dish. The onigiri with mayonnaise. It's just a simple snack, really, he would have done something greater. After Hijikata gets back from the less intense but more effortful and longer jobs, however, he doesn't eat much until he has gotten back into his normal routine. Only then does he stuff himself, and also stuffs his food in mayonnaise.

See, Gintoki knows all of this because, like he has already pointed out, he is a good boyfriend. Best on the market. Actually off the market because he is already taken, sorry ladies and gentlemen-

_"Stop thinking that everyone wants to date a good for nothing lazy ass loser like you!"_

_"Shut up you're just a cat thief! What do you even know about irresistible men like myself?!"_

Sometimes weird pieces of conversations float in his mind when he is thinking about something, mostly the ones he has with the stupid people, like the cat-lady that helps Otose, and steals. He shakes his head, getting back on track. When he finishes he steps back to admire his work.

Yes, the onigiri are ready. Like he said, simple, right? But he made sure to add more mayonnaise than necessary and actually make it look decent – he even thought about shaping the rice into hearts, but quickly discarded the idea.

Of course he is going to do that for Valentine's day, just make everything heart-shaped and gift it to Hijikata because seeing him splutter in embarrassment is one of his favourite things ever- so no one can accuse him for lack of effort on his part. However next time nothing will stop him from baking Hijikata a strawberry cake and he will personally make sure the mayora eats it after putting him through the torture of touching mayonnaise.

Three knocks at the door interrupt his inner monologue, he knows exactly who it is. And as much as he pretends not to, giddiness fills him inside out and he has to stop himself from running to the door.

But then he thinks 'screw it' and runs to the door anyway.

When he finally opens it he is greeted with the awaiting sight of his V-shaped-bangs-mayo-loving-freak-blue-eyed-demon and –  _fuck_  he is always so pretty. That's not easy to handle for his poor heart.

Gintoki leans on the door frame, crosses his arms and one ankle over the other, raises a nonchalant eyebrow, dead fish eyes already in place as he looks at his nails disinterested. "Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up here."

Hijikata scoffs. "Don't make it sound like I'm late, asshole. I told you I had-"

Gintoki's eyes turn softer and a little smile lifts the corner of his lips as he grabs hold of the Vice-Chief's jacket and pulls him in. "I know, I'm just joking." He whispers a few inches away from his face and tilts his head to the side, kissing the edge of his mouth.

Hijikata's face tints the lightest pink and he scowls, but after a moment as he lets himself be dragged inside his lips quirk up at the corners. He almost doesn't have the time to leave his shoes at the entrance because Gintoki keeps tugging him as if they have somewhere to be and his hand slides from his jacket to the cuff on his wrist, brushing their fingers together. Hijikata pretends that doesn't make him feel something akin to happiness, even if his heartbeats increase in number and his face is getting warmer.

He lets himself be guided inside the Yorozuya's kitchen, where the samurai stops and gives him a smirk, like he is trying to gauge a reaction that he knows will earn points in his favor. Hijikata doesn't know why he is on the receiving end of said look, until he sees the table.

"What is this?" He asks the samurai as he eyes the yellowish onigiri, even if he already has an idea.

Gintoki's smirk broadens and he tilts his head in an almost haughty manner. "This is me being a  _great_  boyfriend."

Hijikata doesn't have the time to comment on it because Gintoki is already maneuvering him around, placing his warm hands on his shoulders and gently pushing until he is sitting down. "Now sit and eat. Oh hey, that rhymed." And takes the seat right next to him.

Hijikata looks at the onigiri, and only then does he notice that there is mayonnaise in them. He almost freezes and quickly whips around to face Gintoki. "You did this for me?"

His heart is probably overreacting from how much it's beating, but he had thought that once he got here he would just fight against the submission to his boyfriend's lazy ways, lay on the couch with the man hanging to him like a baby koala and with the television blaring one of the dramas Gintoki follows - because in his opinion you can't understand the drama if the actors are not yelling their passion straight through your eardrums - and really, just laze around until they fall asleep. He didn't expect Gintoki to have made something for him. Something with mayonnaise nonetheless.

If Sougo hears about it Hijikata will never get to live the end of it without being humiliated for the rest of his life but… Gintoki going out of his (lazy) way to do something nice for him, even something as simple as making onigiri… it touches him. Because of the gesture Hijikata loses most of the tension that has reigned in his body for the past week and falls back into the chair, eyeing the almost perfectly shaped onigiri and trying to hold back a smile that is fighting its way through to show.

"Do you know anyone else I would actually put myself through this disgusting task for? I almost threw up,  _yuck!"_

Nevermind. Gintoki is a moron.

"Take that back!" Hijikata forgets the niceties he had just been thinking and glares daggers at the curly haired man. If only he had not worded it that way Hijikata might have even found it… sweet, maybe. "Mayo is not disgusting!"

Gintoki raises his hands in mock-surrender. "Alright, alright, whatever you say prince mayora."

Hijikata crosses his arms and stares straight into his eyes with a sense of satisfaction one can only have when having achieved the impossible. "You're just jealous because I got to save the Mayo Kingdom and they proclaimed me their savior and gave me free access to mayonnaise for the next two lifetimes."

Gintoki frowns. "Why would I be jealous of that? No, wait, why would  _anyone_  at all ever be jealous of something like that?" He shakes his head in disbelief. "And that's not true, it's a dream you had when you fell asleep next to your… 'mayo' stash. Remember?"

Hijikata closes his eyes and puts a hand over his chest as if he is reciting his bushido. "It was real. In my heart."

He says it with so much conviction that Gintoki can't hide a snort, entertained by his lover's endless love for the… blob thing-y.

"Sure." He is clearly not convinced, but the smile he gives him is genuine.

Hijikata opens his eyes and finds Gintoki's ruby ones staring right back, the curve of his smile makes him want to do a few weird things, like, for example, sinking his fingers in those soft locks and keep kissing him until their lungs need to replenish with oxygen again. He turns to stare at his plate instead before he really goes and does just that, and without being prompted starts to dig in.

It's not long before he finishes by the way he is scarfing down the food and if Kagura and Sadaharu were here they would be quite proud of him. Two days in the absence of the heavenly side dish he can't live without. Two days. He thought he had calculated the amount perfectly, but the day before yesterday was particularly stressful and he had to count on his all of his Mayo to make him function. And then forty-eight hours without bliss. He was a starved man, starved from the sweet fruit of life. The lack of Mayo would do this to anyone. Who can resist the abstinence from it? No one, that's who. Or at least this is what Hijikata thinks.

Gintoki is quite impressed with his inhaling abilities too, much like his own when there is something sweet in front of him. For his part the samurai with silver curls is leisurely drinking his favorite brand of strawberry milk as he stares at his favorite person eating what he made for him, a sort of pleasant sensation that he can't describe fills him to the core. He feels so at ease right now, has craved a moment like this, alone, and doing something so normal together since Hijikata left a week ago.

Oh, did he also mention he particularly likes the way Hijikata eats? It's just so… elegant all the time, even when it seems he is fighting to death to swallow the last morsels, it's sophisticated almost, Gintoki has no idea how someone can make eating look  _nice_. But to his surprise Hijikata does, and it's such a random thing, but it still pulls at his attention, never lets his eyes leave him.

Just another thing that Hijikata has won him over with.

He is so completely whipped for him even Zura has made fun of it, and Zura is not someone to make fun of people, so that should explain just how great the lengths Gintoki would go to satisfy Hijikata's every whim are. (Not like he really has, in fact Gintoki's requests tend to be more selfish than his.)

Hijikata has him wrapped around his little finger and Gintoki would lie if he says he minds it.

And yes, you have to be weird and weirdly in love to like the way your lover eats.

"So, how was it?" Gintoki asks almost rhetorically with a self-appraising tilt to his voice, making a mental note to start cooking more often for his boyfriend. "You better find it good because buying the ingredients cost me the rent of the past month and the one to come."

Of course Hijikata doesn't believe a few ingredients to be so expensive, but he does believe something else. "You're late on your rent again?"

Gintoki raises an eyebrow. "Why are you saying that like you're surprised?"

Hijikata rolls his eyes and drops the topic altogether, even if he knows that he will have to do something about it because paying for the sweet-toothed moron has become part of his routine as much as spending time with him is. The shake of his head however is as fond as it can be and Gintoki's heart is suddenly twirling around in his chest like it doesn't know what beating in a normal way means.

To finish his mid-afternoon snack Hijikata distractedly takes a drink of fresh water from the glass in front of him. And almost spits it out. He scrunches up his face in disconcertment and Gintoki bites the side of his lip instead of throwing himself at Hijikata and kiss that adorable expression off his face.

"…This is apple juice." The dark haired man states bewildered as he stares at the pale liquid sloshing inside the glass like it personally offended him.

"Yeah." Gintoki answers unbothered, barely stifling a little grin. "Why? What did you expect?"

Hijikata eyes him from the corner of his eye with a mixture of confusion and wariness, but for today lets it slide. After all Gintoki has not really complained about mayonnaise - that much - and even prepared him something using the condiment, so he can drink a bit of apple juice for once.

And it's not quite as sweet as other juices- he doesn't care what Gintoki says, grapefruit juice does  _not_  taste like wine. At all. He will never drink it again no matter what tactic his lover uses (puppy eyes, the most dangerous in Hijikata's opinion because it works 98.9% of the time) – so he sighs quietly and takes another sip.

The taste of apples mixing with the mayo onigiri is a little… okay, it's weird, and there is a hint of disgust showing on his face. But it's definitely not the worst thing he has had to endure and the cool drink is appreciated after a day spent under the sun rays since the weather is starting to gradually get warmer.

After that there is mostly silence, the clock is ticking away somewhere in the room, marking down the time, but they don't have to pay attention to it because their only mean of knowing the passing of the time is through each other now.

Gintoki has already finished his glass - three - of strawberry milk and he is comfortably hunched over the table with his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he is simply admiring his partner, not even aware of what resembles a loving smile currently residing on his lips.

But Hijikata is.

And he is trying not to show that… in some way, it's affecting him. Now that they are spending time together, even if the days apart were only a few, Hijikata can finally fall back into those eyes.

He still has to get used to it, to Gintoki's gaze deliberately lingering on him, and he probably never will. He doesn't know if the other man is ever aware of it, but sometimes, when he catches his eyes directed his way they are alight with such intensity it makes Hijikata want to plummet into them.

And now Gintoki's gaze is on him, observing him, pulling him under his spell, almost waiting for a reaction. If this had been a game the win would have been his because Gintoki has always been able to see his cards, slowly learnt to see through the secret ones he keeps up his sleeve too. But in truth he lost his round to Gintoki since the day he met him.

Hijikata tilts his head to the side, eyes curious, searching for an answer to that gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

The edge of Gintoki's mouth curves up in a smirk, but it is softer than usual. Maybe from the feeling behind it. "Because I really want to kiss you right now."

Hijikata feels warmth spike up in his veins, setting his blood to a low boiling heat.

"Can I?" The question is soft, hushed, so delicate, almost a hint of hesitation fueling it.

It takes a couple of seconds for Hijikata to register it, and when he does his cheeks flush with fire and Gintoki's heart thuds harder in his chest.

Even if Hijikata doesn't say anything for the next few seconds his eyes speak loud and clear, and they melt. Because whatever expression Hijikata is wearing, even the coldest stares, melt away whenever this kind of softness seeps into Gintoki's tone, spills out from his mouth like an undeterred truth.

If only Gintoki had known before Hijikata needed these soft words, the true ones, he would have used them so much sooner. And maybe he would have admitted to himself how in love he is with this man sooner too.

"…Since when do you ask before doing it?" Hijikata isn't meeting his gaze, but his voice is unguarded in its quietness and so disarming in the waver of its timbre.

Gintoki is stripped away of all his carefully crafted walls because of a few words said in the right kind of way, the ones that make you listen with your heart instead of using your ears. Isn't that simply ridiculous? And even so, he wouldn't have it any other way.

He doesn't really know since when he asks, but what he knows is that he wants to kiss him now.

"I don't know, I just…" It feels like his heartbeat is making noise in the otherwise silent room. "…just want to keep kissing you."

Hijikata looks up, almost startled at the answer, and Gintoki can read a million little fragments of feelings that overflow in the deep blue, staining on his heart like cherry red wine.

Hijikata slowly parts his lips and Gintoki is already gone.

He plants his elbows on the table and pushes in, touching their lips and it's like a breath of fresh air after breaking the surface of freezing waters, but just when he thinks he can let his lungs fill with the sweet needed oxygen Hijikata ends up taking his breath away. He always does. And Gintoki always lets him.

The kiss is soft and slow, contrasting the sizzling need Gintoki feels in his veins, mellow in its rhythm and soothing his scalding nerves, until the warmth of his lips and Hijikata's almost fuse and the sensations swirl together, becoming fuzzy, disorienting him.

They part, looking at each other in a quiet moment of undisrupted rapture, communicating through their eyes and trying to decipher the thoughts running through each other's minds And simply breathing. Breathing in, breathing each other in, letting their never ending streams of relentless thoughts sink down and away.

Until Hijikata pulls Gintoki in and mashes their mouths together.

He gets up from his seat, wanting to feel him close, just like he has imagined all week, and Gintoki follows right after him, framing his face with his hands and stepping inside his personal space until their bodies are touching.

Gintoki sighs in wonder because he almost forgot the warmth that Hijikata is.

The faint burn of smoke is singeing, the heady smell of nicotine sparks inside his body, through his veins, it makes the world stop spinning for a second. Even if Gintoki has never fallen into the habit himself, he doesn't mind the act of smoking, has gotten quite used to it after being around Hijikata so long, and at times when they kiss he almost feels it descending in his lungs, the taste makes heat coil in the pit of his stomach. But what really sends him spiraling down is  _him_.

Gintoki decided that if Hijikata is addicted to smoke then he is addicted to him, and he doesn't mind one bit.

Hijikata feels the pounding of his heart going through his head when the warmth in his mouth turns to wet heat, tries not to think about his knees giving way to a slight tremble when Gintoki kisses him as if he has been living in a drought and he is the water that will quench his thirst, give him the strength to keep living.

And that is when the kiss starts to slow down to a sweeter lull, because he can feel it in the way Gintoki is slotting their mouths together, how he is pouring emotions into actions, and Hijikata suspects he is doing it right back. Even without words their feelings are almost painfully clear to see, like rough diamonds reflecting the sunlight they are bathed in.

Gintoki is the first to break away for lack of oxygen, but not detaching himself. Instead he brings their foreheads together, his breath is coming out in short puffs and Hijikata feels it wash over his face, the hint of strawberries is still on the tip of his tongue. To add insult to injury he rubs the tips of their noses together in a gesture that is so awfully tender Hijikata almost protests, because where is the fairness of it all when the lightest touch can affect him so deeply his heart aches for it.

"…I missed you." Gintoki breathes it like a secret on his lips.

"I was only away for a week?" The curve of his small smile shows amusement as he tries to sound nonchalant, obviously failing in his efforts to do so because the quiet waver of his murmur is clear proof that the same sentiment is held behind.

He can't help but think it's almost silly how he still can't believe they came at a point in their relationship where they can talk about missing each other so comfortably.

Gintoki smirks softly, the kind of smirk that makes Hijikata feel weaker than he wants to admit. "That's a week without your mayo-loving ass paying for my parfaits."

The Vice-Chief can't hold a small smile back and gravitates closer, both of Gintoki's hands come around his waist and tighten, holding him against himself.

"Jerk." He mumbles, so close the seam of his lips grazes Gintoki's around the syllable and that's enough to give wake to a trail of goosebumps along his arms.

Gintoki smiles, slow and soft and just right and Hijikata can almost taste it.

"Your jerk." He corrects, not giving him time to blush, retort or smirk because he is already stealing his breath away.

It's easy, far too easy, getting lost in each other.

"…missed you too." So easy Hijikata can't help but confess after a beat.

Because if Gintoki can admit it he can also. He is competitive, true, but he is also fair, and when Gintoki uncovers a piece of himself, so does he. And as scary as that sounded before, he likes how it makes him feel now. Even when it comes to a simple admission, somehow it feels like the weight on his shoulders gets gradually lighter the more he lets his mask fall.

Gintoki's heart has already lost the race at that, beating away uncontrolled.

"…Didn't have anyone to waste my money on." Hijikata adds more playfully then, his lover has definitely started wiping off on him.

Gintoki's laugh almost echoes in the room. "I told you I'd be useful as your boyfriend-" He interrupts himself for a second because he leans in to leave a peck. "-thanks to me you don't have to carry around such a heavy wallet, I'm doing you a favor."

"You think you're funny?" Hijikata taunts, lips brushing over his chin, eyelids almost fluttering at the soft skin he comes across.

"Oh, I think I'm very funny." Gintoki noses his temple, leaves an uncoordinated pattern of butterfly kisses strewn across his cheekbone, before adding cheekily. "I always make you laugh."

"I laugh because-" Hijikata's breath hitches in his throat when Gintoki shifts his attention to the stretch of his neck. "-because your jokes are so…" He exhales quietly when Gintoki nips at one of the more sensitive spots on his skin, knows them like the back of his hand after so much time he has spent unraveling him since they got together. "…lame."

"Tch, you're in denial." Gintoki says around a quiet snigger on the side of his neck. "I'm fucking hilarious."

Hijikata huffs, feeling the vibrations of his voice send pleasant chills down his spine as he winds his arms around his lover's neck. "In your dreams."

Gintoki travels pecks up his neck, drives them from the edge of Hijikata's mouth and coming to a halt when he brushes his lips across the shell of his ear.

"You're in my dreams." He murmurs quietly, his chest is constricting from the truth inside the statement.

Hijikata almost groans out loud, partly in bliss, but mostly in frustration, because this man knows exactly when to say the most inappropriate things. Inappropriate for his heart, that is. The way Gintoki whispers words sometimes is so genuine it's almost painful, hearing how sincere the syllables sound spoken softly in his ear is sort of unbearable.

While for his part Gintoki is still gloating inside because of Hijikata's admission, not usually an easy feat. And he can't help but show his smugness at his little 'victory', knowing he would get him to say he missed him, and he still keeps smirking even if in revenge his  _cute_  boyfriend bites his lip not so  _cutely_.

And he doesn't even know how but the gesture dazes him, as if he is standing in the middle of a storm and staring at the blinding sun.

Thinking about it, Hijikata does feel like blinding sunlight, so bright he can only look through his fingertips at first, but ends up pulling his hand away from his eyes when he notices that there is no harm, just warmth that fills his vision. His entire being. Hijikata always fills him with so much warmth he thinks he will end up drowning even if there is no water, only fierce flames of an untamable fire.

Bodies find each other in a caress, a gentle sliding against each other's softness and Gintoki sighs in Hijikata's mouth because he feels his fingertips almost trembling from the sensations, his heart is pounding in his ears. He touches the side of Hijikata's face with one hand, uses the other to wrap around Hijikata's waist in a possessive sort of way and the soft groan he feels on his lips makes his insides tingle.

Gintoki nibbles on his upper lip, and he feels the suffocated gasp echoing in his ears. He doesn't have the time to smirk because he delves his tongue into the warm, moisten cavern, making Hijikata stiffen and then fall lax into him once again, as if he wasn't expecting the shock but at the same time impatiently waiting for it.

His heartbeat kicks up a few notches when Hijikata responds in tandem, licking in his mouth and swallowing whatever else Gintoki thought he might say, not needing words at the moment, only wanting to feel the scorching waves of need ramming in his heart until they end up filling him whole, relieved in knowing that Hijikata feels the same.

Somewhere along the way they start moving and end up in the living room, with almost no hitches in the way and it's a miracle how they don't topple over the furniture with how caught up they are in each other. Even if there is a minor set back when Gintoki's legs hit the side of the couch so abruptly he clutches onto Hijikata, making the both of them almost lose their balance, narrowly managing to avoid the fall and Gintoki ends up laughing in Hijikata's mouth and finds it endearing how he laughs right back.

When they are in the middle of the living room Gintoki's hands reach for Hijikata's jacket, at first without a reason, then grip at it, the slightly rough material contrasts with the softness of his boyfriend's lips and makes his fingertips tingle. Hijikata mumbles something unintelligible because of the way their mouths are meeting and breaking away from each other, but he answers the question anyway.

"Let me help." He requests, barely distancing himself enough to speak, and he replaces the need to taste Hijikata's mouth with the smooth skin of his cheek that he can't seem to get enough of.

No one had ever told him that kissing someone would be so  _intense_. Even if all he does is brush his lips against a patch of skin it still leaves inside him the imprint of scalding sensations he thinks about for weeks on end, feels them on his own skin.

Because everything about Hijikata is just so irresistibly tantalizing and Gintoki has never wanted to put up much of a fight anyway.

"Gintoki-" Hijikata begins, but his tone is quiet, almost hinting at indecisiveness, and Gintoki wishes he knew how to read minds just to see what is going on in his thoughts.

"C'mon." He mumbles quietly into his lips. "Just let me help."

Hijikata's exhale washes over his skin and he doesn't need to have his eyes open to see his shoulders sag, losing the last tendrils of tension he carried with him since he first entered through the door. Gintoki is trying his best to make that disappear, to let Hijikata know that he doesn't have to cover himself with a mask, not with him. Not when they are together like  _this_. He can simply let go because Gintoki will always do his damn hardest to keep him safe.

His hands glide over Hijikata's sternum, feeling the press of trained, hard muscles move under his palms and that in itself is enough to send another rush of simmering heat into his body. He smooths his fingers inside Hijikata's jacket, settling them on his shoulders and slowly pulling the garment away, until it's off, discarding it somewhere on the couch, never breaking the kiss.

Undressing him, even the plain act of taking off his jacket for him feels so intimate. Most probably because everything has a deeper meaning when Hijikata is involved.

"Do you want…" Hijikata's questions tapers off in a quiet sigh.

Gintoki knows what he is asking, but he doesn't want to take things further than this.

Because he still is a good boyfriend- no, a great one, in his very modest opinion- and he puts the needs of his other half in the first place. He knows Hijikata is tired, he has probably been working his ass off without the small breaks that normal people usually need to function, and it's definitely a miracle how he hasn't fallen asleep yet. Gintoki doesn't want to push him.

He is so content like this, only touching for the sake of touching, as reassurance pressed into the skin in forms of warmth and comfort. He feels like he has been on a roller coaster already only from their kisses and wants to continue, he wants to keep kissing him, just the feel of his lips, the taste of his love he has missed all these days. It's almost  _too much_ the need he has to make Hijikata feel good this way, to let him wind down and just give him the rest he deserves after all the time and effort he has put into carrying out his job perfectly. Gintoki wants to be his safe place where he can just strip away of all the worries that he finds out there.

"No." He smiles into his skin, brushing a kiss to Hijikata's cheek in a show of affection. Even if it feels like everything he has been doing until now is trying to show all the endless affection he has for this man. "…just wanna kiss you right now." He repeats in a hushed done.

Hijikata sighs, bites his own lower lip and Gintoki follows the sharpness of his teeth sinking into the plump skin with his eyes, wanting to do just that.

His hands come up again, this time at Hijikata's neck and he works to untie the cravat, as their eyes find each other, static sparks in the air when Hijikata's silent gasp fills the room as the smooth fabric glides off the curve of his lover's neck, he almost hears the sound it makes when it skims his skin, wonders if goosebumps will replace its warmth as he places the cravat too somewhat carefully on one end of the couch.

He returns his full attention to his lover, tilting his head and kissing the blush on his cheeks that has become deeper now, gradually getting hotter as the red shows down his neck and Gintoki feels his own face warming up, the butterflies in his stomach are batting their wings furiously, almost in sync with the tempo of his heartbeats.

Gintoki splays a hand on Hijikata's stomach, he feels the abs contract slightly, feels the skin raising with every shallow breath, and it's making him dizzy because he still can't believe he is allowed to do this. To touch. To feel. To love.

"Toshiro." He says his name simply because he is allowed to. He will probably never get tired of how it rolls off his tongue as easily as something he has known his entire life.

Gintoki's eyes are half lidded, not wanting to close them right now because from this distance he can study in detail how his lover's eyelashes are spilling so beautifully over the pink apples of his cheeks.

Hijikata bites his lip, soft and gentle, and tugs on it, and Gintoki feels the faint throb right where his teeth are grazing him. Then he notices the subsequential peek of a tongue touching, soothing in its wake, and he lets loose a soft sound from the back of his throat, making a slight smile stretch over Hijikata's own lips and Gintoki keeps leaving his affections to whatever patch of skin he can find, almost dazed.

Little nips that he spills into the tender skin of his jaw, even if the bone feels as sharp as the blade of a sword, and not for the first time Gintoki wonders if he could cut his lips on Hijikata's defined jaw. (he has not been fantasizing about it, that was only a stupid dream he had a few nights ago simply because he missed him!)

Gintoki's arms encircle his waist and guide him closer, until he rests his chin on Hijikata's strong shoulder, feeling the slight contraction of the muscle as he tightens his hold around him, Hijikata follows right after him.

Holding him in his arms, all the worry and fatigue and stress built up over the past few days just melt at his fingertips, where the warmth of Hijikata's skin seeps into the thin fabric separating them.

This is one of his favorite things to do, just hold him, and let himself be held.

This kind of touch had never been a priority before in Gintoki's life. He can only remember hugs and comforting touches when he was very young, or a little later when he thought that the world was bad but still salvageable, remembers the times he would initiate them, throwing an arm around Zura's shoulders, with Tatsuma and even Takasugi.

He only rediscovered the comfort of invading someone's personal space in such a sweet way with Shinpachi and Kagura, and later the rest of his growing and dysfunctional family.

And then came Hijikata.

Sometimes he wonders how it came to be, from when they couldn't stand each other to now when there isn't a day they can stand without each other. It feels like the hours just pass by in an unsatisfying sort of way because a day without seeing him feels wrong, like a part of his world is missing. He never thought he would feel this way for someone, so strongly, so attached to him, this sense of belonging he has never experienced anywhere else in life.

With only a glance he is wax melting in the warmth of Hijikata's hands.

How could two bright eyes mess him up this way?

He doesn't find it in himself to be mad though, because a person who can read him as easily as the pages of a book finally came along, finally understands the things he sometimes doesn't understand, and Gintoki doesn't think he has ever been this happy in his entire life. He hopes it's the same for Hijikata because giving him that fulfilling happiness is all Gintoki has ever wanted.

"…You shouldn't work so damn much." Gintoki's words come out muffled from his clothes but he thinks Hijikata can still hear the sentiment behind them.

He feels the shape of his mouth curving up in his shoulder and smiles back, knowing Hijikata shares his same thoughts, even if the outtakes on them are different. Gintoki seriously considers the possibility of paying Sougo to get someone to do his job for Hijikata so he can have him all for himself.

He brings up his palm to touch Hijikata's back, this strong back, that has protected him more times than he can count. Because Gintoki has always been used to protect people, but not that familiar with being protected.

In fact he is still trying to get used to it, he is still trying to accept it, the feeling is alarmingly new and he has to remind himself more times than not that even if he needs protection it does not mean that he is weak. Hijikata has been kindly drilling the notion inside his head, along with the others (Gintoki makes sure to return the favor). Even so, knowing that there is someone out there who has his back no matter what, who supports him unconditionally… that's a relief.

And he wants to do everything in his power to protect Hijikata back. No matter what the cost, he would do anything for him, he would do anything to never see him hurt ever again. Because just like Gintoki's past has affected him, he knows Hijikata is still battling his own demons. He can notice it in the dimness of Kondo's smile sometimes, can read it in the expression of Sougo, can even see it in the frown of Yamazaki, how affected Hijikata still is some days. But when he sees the ghosts of Hijikata's past in the shadows of his eyes Gintoki's heart shatters to pieces.

Hijikata has always been so selfless, he has always put everyone else in front of him, uncaring of himself, and he has been protecting all the people he loves, so much that… he forgot to protect his own self. Gintoki is guilty of such a fault too.

If only he is allowed to he wants to replace all the pain in Hijikata's past with love, as much love as he can give him, until the wounds close up and the scars stop hurting. Until the sheen of sorrow covering Hijikata's eyes on rainy days melts like snow giving its way to spring.

Unconsciously his arms tighten around Hijikata and when he feels him squeeze back affectionately Gintoki he snaps out of his thoughts. He was so into his head he forgot everything else for a few moments. That won't do. He is certainly not here to think about how to take care of Hijikata, he is here to act.

A small smile plays on his lips and Gintoki plasters himself to him some more, then starts gently swaying on place, minute movements of their bodies that are slow and relaxing. He leaves an array of soft kisses on the exposed parts of Hijikata's throat, just to shower him in as much affection as he can. And also because he likes kisses. He had no idea how much he would love a kiss until Hijikata came along and now he is obsessed with kissing every part of him.

He feels more than hears Hijikata's tired chuckle on his shoulder. "What are you doing?" His question is also slightly faint from Gintoki's shirt.

Gintoki laughs in his neck. "Nothing."

Hijikata shakes his head and mumbles something, but lets himself be lulled into Gintoki's rhythm.

They remain locked in each other, the desire and need have not subsided, instead they have turned into something softer, something quieter, dancing on the surface of their skin as they dance in the stillness of each other.

Gintoki thinks this is what happiness tastes like.

He doesn't know how long they remain that way, if minutes or hours, doesn't care to find out as contentment washes over him in waves. When he feels Hijikata's body fall lax into his however he thinks it's better to move on the couch before they fall asleep like this. Even if the idea entertains him for a moment, that would be a funny sight.

Still attached to each other, with small steps Gintoki takes Hijikata to the couch, and he grins a little because it almost feels like a game when Hijikata follows him blindly, not even caring where he is stepping. What is silly is how Gintoki feels a new wave of giddiness wash over him because even like this Hijikata is showing that, in some way, he is trusting him. And his trust is one of the things Gintoki holds most dear.

He waits for him to lay down first and then joins him, keeping the jabs of elbows and kicks in the shins to the bare minimum since two grown men are trying to fit on a couch that is supposed to be used for resting your bottom only. But they manage, as always, until they are laying down, side by side. Although Gintoki decides to throw a leg over Hijikata's and bring him closer because he is more comfortable this way.

Hijikata has a pensive expression on his face that Gintoki wants to kiss away. When he remembers that he actually can he leans in close and brushes a hand over his fringe, exposing the skin to place a kiss right in the middle of his forehead. He sees Hijikata's frown, even if he is fighting off an incoming smile.

"I don't like you on top." Hijikata suddenly blurts out.

Gintoki is taken slightly off guard by the comment his boyfriend was apparently thinking so hard (pun not intended) about, he snorts and brings him even closer, touching their foreheads gently.

"What a fucking liar you are, baby." Gintoki whispers amused. Hijikata frowns at the pet name and Gintoki pecks him square on the lips, smirking almost haughtily. "But it's okay 'cause I'm the bigger man and I can admit I like you on top." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "And I also like you on bottom."

"Pervert." Hijikata's response comes as fast as the hit on his shoulder, a playful swat, and even if there are still blotches of pink in his cheeks, a smirk that mirrors Gintoki's one is threatening to take over his face.

"Hey, I'm talking about our positions on the couch right now." Gintoki tries to fight off the smirk in his voice and fakes surprise as he wiggles a hand over his chest in between their bodies. "Why? What were you thinking about?" A slight intake of breath to show his shock. "Get your mind out of the gutter young man, who's the real pervert here?"

Hijikata hits his arm again, eyes narrowing into a glare that makes laughter tumble out of Gintoki, not being able to keep the facade up. "Fuck you."

"I thought we were just going to sleep?" Gintoki asks the immediate question innocently, smug grin and all.

"You-!"

But his kiss cuts Hijikata off, who tries to protest, only to end up sighing annoyed into his mouth, Gintoki feels it. But when Hijikata kisses back in a way that is slightly more aggressive than what they have done up until then Gintoki's head becomes fuzzy, far too fuzzy, and he feels licks of fire heating him up from inside when Hijikata's tongue demands entrance as he pulls on his hair, tilting his head however he wants him to.

Gintoki feels like clay in his hands, lets Hijikata mold him however he wants him to.

Ah, he's so whipped, isn't he?

The samurai tries to catch his breath when his lungs start burning, but he reserves a wolfish grin for his lover. "You're fucking cute when you get mad, you know that?" He tells him as if it is of imminent importance for Hijikata to know just how cute he is.

"And you're cute when you shut up." Hijikata says back gruffly as the tint on his cheeks seems to be of a permanent shade of red.

Gintoki blinks.

Gintoki does a double-take.

"Okay, I know that was an insult but…  _damn_. You just called me 'cute.'" He suddenly clutches his chest, his breath stutters in his throat and he quickly shakes his head from side to side. "Holy fuck! …T-That's too much… shit, oh shit…. it's making me question all of my life choices right now!" He slides off the couch in a dramatically slow fall, his upper body is almost making contact with the floor and his legs are strewn across Hijikata's, still shaking his head from side to side and complaining about his weak heart at the unexpected compliment.

Real talk. Gintoki likes to dramatize, but if Hijikata actually put effort and called him pet names that would be the end of him. Boom. Kapoot. Finito. His soul would leave his body and fly to heaven because he would finally experience the maximum bliss known to mankind. Hijikata calling him 'honey' would probably put his bones to rest for two eternities. Honestly, it's better for his health that Hijikata doesn't take this as seriously as he does.

A quiet laugh is pulled out of Hijikata despite himself and he reaches for Gintoki's shirt before he completely falls down while Gintoki feels warm things spread on his chest. Because whenever he hears Hijikata laugh, knowing he was the cause of the angelic sound, it does something wonderful to him.

"If I go to the heaven of sweets tell Shinpachi and Kagura that I won't pay them anymore." Gintoki continues with his dramatic antic.

Hijikata shakes his head, trying to suppress a smile. "Not like you already do."

"And tell that nice man that sells parfaits near the park that I love him and he's the only one I really care about."

Hijikata snorts thinking about the old man who runs an ice cream parlor Gintoki sometimes drags him to for a sweet fix. "Of course."

Gintoki raises his head and narrows his eyes in a momentous expression, hand clutching the wrong side of his chest, where his heart isn't, and with a gravely calculated voice he finishes. "And don't give my collection of Jumps to anyone… because no fucker deserves it except for me."

Hijikata chokes on a rumble of laughter and his grip loosens, the shirt falls from his grasp, making Gintoki sprawl on the floor and increasing their laughter even more. It feels like one of those moments where you almost don't know why you laugh, you just do.

Gintoki stays with his head on the cold floor for a few more seconds, waiting for the fun to subside and then lets his legs fall on the floor and leans up, placing his elbows on the cushion and leaning in to kiss Hijikata's cheek.

Hijikata's heartbeat decides to do a few somersaults in his chest because he will maybe never get used to Gintoki's gentler side, as much as he craves for it.

He turns his face until Gintoki's mouth is on his own and somehow their positions change because Gintoki crawls on back on the sofa and is suddenly on top of him, with his hands locked in his hair, and Hijikata doesn't have a care in the world in that moment except for the feeling of those luscious lips. Sometimes (more than only sometimes) he feels like even a day away from Gintoki's lips is too much, a day away from him it's too much.

Gintoki peppers little kisses all over his face, making him hide a few chortles of laughter and hide his face when he feels fingers prodding at his sides – no, he is  _not_  ticklish, he just has…. sensitive skin – and he pushes him away, until they are back where they started, with Gintoki trying to get as close to him as he can.

Hijikata is so comfortable like this, with Gintoki's body warmth dissolving into his own, he feels the pull of drowsiness once again making his eyelids heavier as the seconds pass. With a slow drag of his wrist he tangles his fingers in his partner's locks, liking the way the strands feel between his fingertips.

"I have something to tell you and it's gonna change your life." Gintoki breaks the silence in a low voice, bringing their faces just a little closer. "You show your love by stealing money from your lover."

Hijikata raises a brow, amused at his seriousness. "Where'd you hear such a thing?"

"From Otae." He furrows his brows in concentration. "Actually, I read that in one of her magazines."

"The ones that her friends keep giving her to 'find a boyfriend'?"

Gintoki's face shows his apparent confusion. "How'd you know that?"

Hijikata thinks about that time his Commander had come barging in his room to cry his eyes out because when hiding in Otae's house he had overheard that some of her friends kept buying her fashion magazines or signed her up on dating sites to finally 'find the perfect guy' and 'forget the hairy gorilla stalker', in Kondo's own words. Hijikata and Sougo had to take him bar-hopping until the early hours of the morning to make him stop sobbing, and that had been a not so great idea since the boost of alcohol had apparently given their boss the courage to climb naked through Otae's window, where she was actually waiting for him with a baseball bat and… things escalated from there. That was a night, and a hungover, he will probably never forget.

"Kondo-San told me." He simply answers.

"Let me guess, he was stalking her again?"

"Something like that." Hijikata nods at the half-truth. "He likes her." He adds in a mindless attempt at defending his Commander's at times questionable actions.

"Yeah, in the same way Shinpachi likes that singer." Gintoki points out sarcastically. "It's called obsession."

Hijikata rolls his eyes, decides to hold his tongue instead of calling out Gintoki on his obsession with parfaits because that would probably lead to a discussion, and as much as he enjoys their bickering – not like he would admit it but sometimes without the incredibly stupid, and even slightly funny, arguments to fill his days they just pass by in an empty sort of blur – he doesn't want to engage in the pointless discussion now, he just wants to wind down and fall asleep with Gintoki in the small but comfortable couch.

"You know that what they write in those articles is fake anyway, right?" He changes topic instead.

"Listen." Gintoki begins like an actor in a commercial trying to convince people to buy the mediocre product. "When you love someone you buy them stuff to show your love, okay. So letting the one you love steal from you is practically the same thing. You're still showing your love. See? It makes sense."

Hijikata almost forgetting where his hand is because he is getting too used to running his hands in Gintoki's soft,  _soft_  curls and he gently rubs at the scalp, reveling in the flutter of his lover's lashes, and he nods amused. "It sure does."

"No, no, I can assure you, it's a legitimate thing." Gintoki continues his attempts at making him believe the profound and wise meaning that the gesture of letting your loved ones steal money from you represents as he slides one arm around his waist, getting comfortable.

"What's legitimate is that you're full of shit."

"I'm sorry the truth hurts you." Gintoki says with a straight face.

Hijikata snorts at that and Gintoki's face opens up in a grin, making it hard for the Vice-Chief to wipe off the small smile that wants to stay on his own face.

It seems that smiling is becoming more of a regular occurence with Gintoki's presence in his life. Such a small detail, and one that once made him almost recoil, because he was convinced that even showing a smile more often than not might have come across as weakness. But now it makes him glad, because it means that he is showing Gintoki what he feels, without barriers between them, and a small weight that he didn't know had settled heavily around his shoulders is now gone.

Gintoki's eyes glint embers with the sun rays streaming through the windows as he crowds in on him, pressing him to the cushions like he wants to keep him there, keep him hidden away, unseen from unwanted eyes, covered up for anyone else except for himself because Gintoki is the only one who gets to experience him like  _this._

Hijikata falls into Gintoki's body like it is his shelter. It's ridiculous because instead of wanting to push away against it he only wants to fall into this, into him, into every one of Gintoki's whimsies and wishes, and let himself be swallowed inside this spiral of security, safety and warmth.

How bad it is that Hijikata wants to stay hidden away in this corner of peace, pressed into this hushed safety he has missed his whole life.

But the truth is Gintoki is the missing peace he has been always seeking.

Hijikata sighs when he feels Gintoki's lips on his face, not kissing this time, just grazing his skin, doing it for the fact that he can, and this kind of touch is overwhelming in its simplicity, to the point where Hijikata has started asking himself how he has survived until now without it.

Gintoki breaks him away from his inner musings when he bites his cheek gently, blowing a raspberry on it and giggling into his ear and Hijikata scoffs, lightly jabbing his knee into his boyfriend's shin in retaliation.

"I have to get back early tomorrow." Hijikata speaks quietly, trying not to fully shatter the peaceful atmosphere that they have created.

"Mmh." Gintoki nuzzles the side of his face tenderly. "Count me in."

"Thought you wanted to  _sleep_  in?" Hijikata whispers into his skin, barely managing to not (completely) fall into Gintoki's affections.

"Nah, already did today, s'fine." The samurai with silver curls gruffs and shifts his leg between his boyfriend's ones, grinning cheekily into his hair. "I'll follow you around the barracks until you can't get enough of me, babe."

Hijikata huffs softly around a chuckle and doesn't retort something embarrassed like he usually does at Gintoki's choice of pet names. Instead he tries to hide his face into his lover's neck, fitting perfectly there, while passing off the action as annoyance even if there is red painting his cheekbones.

Gintoki's heart does not show signs of slowing down anytime soon.

Sleep takes over Hijikata just like this. With lips still tingling, arms wrapped around him securely, their warm bodies molded against each other and Gintoki's heartbeat in his ears.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

**Title and inspiration come from[this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIMp5_s7cY0)**

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon that Gintoki calls Hijikata pet names because he loves seeing him embarrassed but also because he really likes pet names and has 'high school girl level' type of fantasies about Hijikata using pet names on him too and Zura and Tatsuma make fun of him for it. If you don't believe that this is real then I'm sorry for you but you have been living under a Gintama rock and are in extreme denial.
> 
> P.s.s. I just wanted all of you to feel the FLUFF between these two as much as I do!
> 
> P.s.s.s. I feel like everyone focuses on Gintoki's past, and I understand, and I love him, and I will also write a lot on it because he needs to be protected at all costs, but I also feel like people keep forget that Hijikata also has a tragic past. Hijikata NEEDS to be taken care of too. And who can do it better than our sweet parfait loving curly haired samurai?


End file.
